How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
