i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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