brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
