I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
tell me about the eggs
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