so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
Randomize
