I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize