whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
This can only be settled by a dance off.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
