I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
