We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
