can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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