I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
16 People Who Have Raised The Bar For Petty Revenge
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
You are a booty call, not a friend.
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She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.