Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Randomize
