shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
I'm always down for nudity.
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