Banned from zoo.
Again?
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
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