If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Randomize
