Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
I love how my cats smell like pot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize