How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Randomize
