i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Randomize