Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
