WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
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