I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Randomize
