eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
Come share oat with me in your robe
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
