i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
