don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Randomize
