Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
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