Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Randomize
