If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Randomize
