Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
I know her cup size but not her name....
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
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