i just google imaged poop.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Randomize
