Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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