Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
I cockslap morals
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Randomize
