well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
Randomize