I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
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