I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
