We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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