Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
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