This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
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