We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
I understand Curling. That high.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
Come share oat with me in your robe
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
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