trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize