my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
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