chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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