I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Randomize
