It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
