her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
Randomize
