I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
Randomize
