she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
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