i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
