She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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