Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
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