Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
