he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Randomize
