Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
