so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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