come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
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Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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