you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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