Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
I smell like Dick and happiness
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