Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
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