I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
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