well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
