I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
