I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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