I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
