sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Randomize
