loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
