thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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