I think my vagina is haunted
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
and eventually we just all took our pants off
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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