I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
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