Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Randomize
