I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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