Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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