this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize