You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
