she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Randomize